I wanna passion pit in your ass
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
