What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
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