We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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