mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize