no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
