it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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