i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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