awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
