he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i need to put some appletini on your dick
not ubering you a puppy
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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