would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
