Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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