Nicole vs. Life
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
