Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
