Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
