i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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