Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
