i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
