please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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