Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
