I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
