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I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
