I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My ATM looks so different sober.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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