hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
