Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize