Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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