Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I AM VODKA MAN
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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