im about as happy as oj after his trial
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
