if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
