Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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