how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
And then my night got REAL pukey
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
