were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
