Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
