I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
