Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
