Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i think my mom watched the whole time
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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