Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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