So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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