His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
