I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize