I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize