you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
