im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
