quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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