He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
