Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
then he tried to convert me to islam
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
