they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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