"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
