I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
