Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
