I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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