When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
