the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
