I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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