It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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