Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
