would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
